Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
