Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
