Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
