Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
