Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
