I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
