And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
