Is it normal to miss your booty call?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
