i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
