he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
