butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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