I have demons in me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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