Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
