capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
im holly from the hills drunk
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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