At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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