Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
