I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
