I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
