She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
