i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
