Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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