so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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