This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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