my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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