Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
