i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He passed out mid-signature
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
