I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
