Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
