She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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