You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
