matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
