I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
