i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
