party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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