Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
