and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
