Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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