sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
