She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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