I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
