you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
