I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
