I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
