Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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