FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
