Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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