You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
