College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
