i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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