i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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