She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
